Fearlessness,Water and The Maha Mritjunjaya

Namaste,

I hope this post finds everyone well and continuing on their path. Its been a minute since I have been able to sit down and with my thoughts and share with you. I'm hoping to be able to do this on a more regular basis, as well as sharing some practices and meditations on video.
Life is certainly shifting in the direction that I have been trying to manifest. One with more time for family, friends practice, travel and connecting with students and beloved teachers. My second home, yoga studio and friends in Northern California are very dear to me and I believe that I will finally have time to dedicate to the renewal of the yoga space up there in the coming year.
Last year while shooting the film The Experiment with Adrien Brody and Forest Whitaker, a girlfriend and I got the tattoo of the Sanskrit word Abhay- which means fearless. She had her reasons, as she was going through a transition in life. And I recognized that there were still many fears that had held me back from reaching my fullest potential.
One of my greatest fears was water. I had always loved the ocean growing up. We had a boat and went out on it every weekend.  My father made sure that I  had strong swimming skills and we had a pool in our back yard. At one point I even dreamed of being an the first black woman on the Olympic swim team. Having grown up on the Long Island Sound, there were no waves at our local harbor, jumping in the water at the beach was a joy. Until the day went to Jones Beach for the first time. I experienced the power of water first hand as I jumped into the waves playfully and was sucked in by the under tow. Unprepared for the power of the waves, I almost drowned. The years following that were filled with many dreams of drowning. I didn't give up swimming in our pool at home, but I never ventured out into the ocean waves again.
Two years ago, when I moved to Topanga- my commute to work took me down three miles of the coastal stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway. I loved to look at the morning sea and was envious of the surfers- out there in the beautiful sun,  seemingly fearless of the waves and powerful ocean.  Then one day I saw someone standing up on a surfboard and paddling, they were gliding across the water effortlessly- like a beautiful water dance. I thought "wow that's like yoga on water, I have to do it". I decided I would conquer my fear of  the ocean, find out how to learn to do what I later learned was referred to as SUP or stand up paddling.
That was in July. I was terrified during my first lesson as I worked with my instructor to battle my way through the 2ft surf to get out into the open ocean. I had so much adrenaline pumping, I definitely felt like I was fighting to stay alive!
But after a months of sessions and learning more about how to read the ocean swells, I began to feel more comfortable in the ocean. And just when I was feeling good, my instructor took me to the next level, he took me out in 4 ft swells and taught me how to ride them. I was scared as heck, but also having fun! That night I had an amazing dream, I was riding up and down on the ocean swells and suddenly a huge wave come down about to crash over me, and instead of being terrified I trusted it would be okay. I thought of the Maha Mritjunjaya Mantra(Victory Over Great Death) and then the wave crashed, knocked me off of my board, I calmly held my breath, went under the water,  and popped back up to the surface where calm waters awaited me. I don't know much about lucid dreaming but this dream felt so real, and I knew that something shifted that night.

I was lead through the fire, so to speak by my teacher. I was willing to get knocked off of my board and possibility drown. And by doing so I found more freedom and joy than I could of imagined-being part of the ocean, part of the whole. I found this experience to be so Tantric, if we are afraid to get burned we will never cross that barrier of flames that keeps us tied to our karma and separate from each other, our true nature and the universe. And once we cross that barrier we realize that we were in illusion all along. Not that is wasnt scary, but most of the danger was in my own imagination as i relived the events of the past. I have now arrived at a new event horizon. Things look very different from here! And now I'm ready for my next adventure.
Moving beyond your perceived boundaries brings many beautiful experiences!

Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra
Om Tryambhakam Yajamahe
Sugandhim Pushti Vardhanam
Urvarukamiva Bandhana
Mrityor Mukshiya Mamritat

This mantra will strengthen the power of will, knowledge and action- unblocking the flow of enthusiasm, courage and determination. It empowers us to overcome all obstacles while empowering the healer within. It will bring auspiciousness and happiness to life.

Please share with me how you have conquered your fears. Hope to see you all soon.

Hare Om,
Tracee